Good Habits that I can immediately put in quotation marks, like this: “Good Habits”. We’ll find out why later. Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right, yet something is still off?
You don’t pick fights, you maintain your composure, you try to be strong and live a healthy life. So why does this pervasive sense of fatigue and emptiness linger? Why does your life often feel like a dreary TV show with no plot to speak of?
It’s a strange paradox, isn’t it? We follow all the rules, we check off all the boxes of what a “responsible” and “mature” adult should be, and yet we’re left feeling hollow.
The truth is, many of the habits we’ve been told are “good” or “sensible” are actually quiet acts of self-betrayal that lead to a slow, insidious burnout. And the worst part?
Good habits or “Good habits”.
We often don’t even realize it’s happening. According to psychologists, these self-sabotaging behaviors often stem from childhood fears the fear of disappointing others or the fear of rejection.
As we grow up, we continue to play the role of the “convenient” or “easygoing” person, losing touch with our true selves in the process. We become so focused on being what others need us to be that we forget who we are.
This can lead to a state of chronic exhaustion and a sense of living a life that isn’t our own. This article will shine a light on the habits that are subtly draining your energy and offer a roadmap for how to start living a different, more authentic life.
The Seemingly “Right” Habits That Lead to Burnout.
What are these habits that feel right but are secretly harming our psyche?
Staying Silent to Avoid Conflict.
On the surface, it sounds wise: hold your tongue, wait it out, smooth things over. But in reality, this is a way of bottling up your emotions.
When you constantly “swallow” your irritation, frustration, or resentment, your body starts to speak for you. This suppressed emotional baggage can manifest as headaches, chronic fatigue, or fluctuating blood pressure.
You might be avoiding a small argument, but you’re creating a silent, internal war that your body is fighting for you.
Enduring Because “That’s Just How It Is”.
Many people are terrified of change. They remain in an unfulfilling job or a toxic relationship because “you can’t just quit everything.”
This kind of endurance isn’t a sign of willpower; it’s a form of self-destruction. The price of this suffering is chronic stress and a profound sense of emptiness.
We convince ourselves that sticking it out is the noble thing to do, when in fact, we’re sacrificing our mental and emotional well-being on the altar of inertia.
Working Until You Drop and Never Complaining.
Society often admires workaholics, celebrating their dedication and stamina. But behind the facade of “having it all under control” often lies an inability to ask for help, a fear of appearing weak, and a complete disregard for one’s own needs. We wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor, but it’s a sign of a deeper imbalance.
True strength isn’t about working yourself into the ground; it’s about knowing your limits and respecting them.
Suppressing Emotions and Feelings.
Tears, shame, and anger are often perceived as signs of weakness. This kind of upbringing creates an internal censor that prevents you from expressing even joy.
But emotions are not a weakness; they are your body’s language, a way for you to understand what is happening. By suppressing your feelings, you’re not just silencing the bad ones you’re turning down the volume on all of them, including happiness.
Hoping Someone Else Will Solve Your Problems.
Waiting for someone to magically intuit your emotional state is a way of outsourcing responsibility for yourself.
When the help you crave doesn’t arrive, it leads to deep resentment. The connection breaks, and you retreat further into your shell. This habit is particularly harmful because it’s a setup for disappointment.
You’re expecting a mind-reader when you need to be an open book.
Why “Sensible” Habits Can Harm Your Psyche.
Psychologists call this behavior “internal self-violence.” It often develops in childhood as a survival mechanism, but in adulthood, it becomes a destructive force that erodes your health and relationships. Here’s what this silent self-betrayal can lead to:
• Chronic Fatigue: You’re constantly running on autopilot, never truly resting. Your mind and body are in a perpetual state of alert, leaving you drained.
• Psychosomatic Illnesses: Unexpressed emotions can manifest as physical pain, such as backaches, stomach issues, and chronic headaches. Your body is trying to send you a message that your mind is ignoring.
• A Feeling of Emptiness and Resentment: You feel like you’re trying so hard, but no one seems to notice or appreciate your efforts. This leads to a profound sense of being overlooked and undervalued.
• Losing Touch with Yourself: It becomes difficult to know what you truly want or what makes you happy. You’ve been playing a role for so long that you’ve forgotten the person behind the mask.
• Strained Relationships: Your partner or loved ones can’t support you if they don’t know what you’re going through. Your silence creates a barrier that prevents genuine connection.
How to Reclaim Your Energy and Stop Living a Life That Isn’t Yours.
The path back to yourself starts with small, consistent steps. Think of it not as a monumental overhaul but as a detailed recipe for a better life, with a pinch of humor to make it more palatable.
Your life is an ongoing series, and it’s time to rewrite the script, adding new life, color, and a healthy dose of fun. These tips will help you reclaim your energy and start living so that every day feels like your own personal bestseller, not a boring encyclopedia entry.
1. Ask Yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” and “What do I want?”.
Imagine your inner world is a secret room, its door often locked with five deadbolts and three iron chains. We get so used to not thinking about what we truly feel that sometimes even a simple question like, “Am I hungry?” triggers an internal “Error 404” message.
Start small. When you feel tired, confused, or just uninspired, take a moment to stop. Imagine you’re a detective investigating yourself. “Hmm, Detective Hawk,” you might think to yourself, “it seems my body is saying, ‘I’m as tired as if I ran a marathon in high heels on sand.'” Or “my heart is whispering, ‘I’m angry that I was used as a doormat again.'”
These questions aren’t meant to send you into a spiral; they’re meant to help you find your way back to yourself. It’s like a small internal GPS. At first, it might say “signal weak,” but over time, it will become clearer and more precise.
If your initial answer is “nothing” or “I don’t know,” that’s perfectly normal. The main thing is to start asking. Remember, even the smartest detective starts with simple questions.
2. Learn to Say “No”: Start Small.
Saying “no” is like acquiring a new superpower. Many of us feel guilty about refusing to help, especially when it comes to parents. We were raised to believe that being a “good child” means fulfilling every wish, even if it requires pulling a rabbit out of a hat, building a house, and growing a cucumber that plays the saxophone.
Start with small “no’s.” For example, if a colleague asks for help with a task that isn’t your responsibility and you don’t have the time, say, “Not this time, I have my own important deadlines to meet.” If a friend invites you to an event you have absolutely no desire to attend, you can say, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to pass this time. Have a great evening!”
With parents, it’s more complicated, but the principle remains. Remember that you are an adult, not a version of them with a remote control.
For example, if your mom asks for help painting the garden fence but you have other priorities, you can say, “Mom, I would love to help, but I have other plans this week. Maybe we can schedule another time, or I can recommend a great handyman?”
The key is to be respectful but firm. And remember, “no” isn’t aggression; it’s a statement of personal boundaries. It’s like putting up a sign that says, “Private Property, please respect my boundaries.”
3. Journal Moments When You Acted Against Your Will.
This is your personal “case file” journal, but without the culprits or the punishment. Every time you act against your will, write it down. For example: “Today, my colleague Andrejs asked for help with a presentation even though I had to finish my own.
I agreed even though I didn’t want to because I was afraid he’d think I was a bad colleague.”
Remember, this isn’t a place to criticize yourself. It’s not a notebook titled “What I Did Wrong Again.” It’s more like a scientific study where you observe your behavior and record the facts.
This process will help you notice recurring patterns and understand what fears or beliefs are making you act against your will. Each entry is like a little seed of an “aha!” moment that will eventually grow into a tree of understanding.
After all, who wouldn’t want to be the detective of their own story, uncovering the truth about themselves?
4. Allow Yourself to Be Angry and Sad.
Emotions are like steam in a pressure cooker. If you don’t release them, the pot will eventually explode. We often feel uncomfortable with “negative” emotions like anger, sadness, and disappointment.
We suppress them, bury them deep inside, hoping they’ll disappear. In reality, they transform into internal monsters that start to gnaw at us from the inside.
Allow yourself to feel these emotions. If you’re angry, find a healthy way to express it: you can scream into a pillow, write an angry letter (that you’ll never send), go for a vigorous run in the forest, or just allow yourself to be angry on your own.
If you’re sad, allow yourself to cry. Sadness isn’t weakness; it’s a natural response to loss or disappointment. It’s a way of making space for new emotions. Imagine you’re a theater director, and every emotion has a role.
No role is “bad”; each has its place and meaning. And if a role is too intense, just find a way to respectfully “take it off the stage” instead of banishing it backstage.
5. Seek Support.
We often act like lone warriors trying to win battles by ourselves. Why not enlist allies? Friends, family members, a therapist, or even an online community can be your knights in shining armor (or at least have a good sense of humor).
Talk to someone you trust. A simple conversation can be incredibly liberating. If you feel like you can’t cope on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist is like a personal guide through the labyrinths of your psyche they won’t tell you where to go, but they will teach you how to read the map.
Remember that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It shows that you’re brave enough to admit that you need support. We are social beings, and we need connection. So don’t suffer alone.
Give others a chance to help you feel like your true self again. After all, even Superman sometimes needs a helping hand.
These steps may seem small, but their impact is huge. They are the first lines of your new script. It might be a short story at first, but over time, it will become an epic saga where you are the protagonist truly happy, energetic, and living the life you want.
So, are you ready to embark on this exciting journey back to yourself? Are you ready to start making these small changes to reclaim your energy and joy? I think you are! And I am ready for it. All is well.
Have a good day!
