Opposites. Sometimes, when we repeatedly attempt something in a particular way without success, it may be a sign that we need to change direction and take the opposite approach.
This principle does not mean taking unnecessary risks or disregarding caution and common sense.
However, we live in a world of opposites, up and down, left and right. In certain situations, we achieve our desired outcomes by taking a radically different path. Here are examples of when this strategy can work.
Opposites, Detach from Yourself.
When we feel anxious, the conventional approach is to calm down practice breathing exercises, meditate, or engage in relaxation techniques. These methods can be helpful.
Alternative, stepping back from oneself and allowing anxiety to pass through.
Instead of attempting to control or fight our emotions, we can create distance between ourselves and our anxious thoughts and feelings.
One way to do this is to treat anxiety as external noise—acknowledge its presence but choose not to engage with it, focusing instead on something outside of ourselves.
Anxiety thrives on attention.
The more we dwell on it, the stronger it becomes. So, when we begin to feel uneasy, it may be more effective to simply recognize its presence without trying to control or resist it.
We can remind ourselves that discomfort is temporary and shift our focus to an engaging book, physical activity, or a favorite comedy show.
When we’re bored, forcing ourselves not to be bored is futile. The best way to overcome boredom is to immerse ourselves in something interesting, redirecting our attention from our emotions to a captivating activity.
The same applies to anxiety—rather than fighting it, we should step away from it.
Control Your Thoughts, Not Your Emotions.
An emotion is like a dog on a leash—it follows the direction it is pulled. In the case of anxiety, our thoughts are holding the leash.
If anxiety stems from irrational self talk expecting the worst or exaggerating negative outcomes we can apply the principle of opposites by shifting our internal dialogue to one that is calm, rational, and logical.
This helps pull the “leash” in the other direction.
Stop Chasing Happiness.
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus believed that true happiness comes when we release our attachment to things beyond our control. Ironically, happiness itself falls into that category.
We cannot force ourselves to be happy any more than we can force ourselves to fall asleep. Both happen naturally when we allow them.
In fact, striving too hard for happiness can make it even more elusive just as trying too hard to fall asleep can leave us tossing and turning all night.
The opposite of chasing happiness is allowing it to arise naturally by focusing instead on meaningful activities and experiences that bring value on their own.
Let Go of Control to Gain Control.
When we adopt a “let it be” mindset, we may paradoxically find ourselves gaining control over a situation. A prime example is insomnia.
The harder we try to force ourselves to sleep, the more difficult it becomes. However, when we do the opposite stop controlling the process tension fades, and we enter a more relaxed state conducive to sleep.
Replace Negative Thoughts.
We cannot effectively think about multiple things at once. Instead of scolding ourselves for negative thoughts, we can replace them with alternative, positive ones.
For instance, when learning to drive, fear might make us think.
WoW: I’m going to make a mistake and crash into a pole. But we can consciously choose to think differently: I’ll stay focused on the road, and I’ll be fine.
I know this route, and I handled it well last time I can do it again.
When an unpleasant thought arises, we can push it out by recalling comforting affirmations that have helped us in the past.
WHAT allowing anxiety to pass through.
Allowing anxiety to pass through means not resisting or trying to control it but instead observing it without attachment.
Instead of suppressing anxious feelings or actively fighting them, you acknowledge their presence, accept that they are temporary, and shift your focus elsewhere.
Think of anxiety like a passing cloud in the sky you notice it, but you don’t chase it or try to push it away. This approach reduces its power over you, making it easier to move forward without being overwhelmed.
Good luck, friends!
