Relationships. An article from my cycle of reflections woman-to-woman. This is a well-known fact that is not even worth arguing about deeply and even reasonably.

Therefore, I will ask you, the reader, a simple question: “Is it good to go against your desires?”

Relationships, sacrificing yourself is not good, as it may seem.

I will model this topical issue with an everyday example. Imagine that you have to attend an important event.

In order to look luxurious, you decide to go to the store with the desire to find something suitable for yourself.

A few hours later, among the hangers and flashy parodies of dresses, you find the most suitable option for yourself. It perfectly matches your shoes and even the interior of the room where the event will take place.

Unfortunately, you do not see your size.

When you turn to the consultant with a request to find a suitable size for you, she may answer that there is a dress of this cut. But the dress will be a different color. Isn’t it terrible!

You have to choose, take it or leave with nothing. The same thing happens in relationships.

Relationships, suppression of desires.

I think you understood from the previous example what it’s all about in a serious relationship.

No matter how perfect a man may seem, there will always be something between you that will separate you from each other. Either you find a compromise, or you start sacrificing yourself.

Do you watch the movies he wants, or do you go on vacation where he is more comfortable?

All this may seem wonderful in general, but you are almost not there.

Such simple decisions should be born from compromise. Ask yourself if this is what you want?

No, you were forced to make concessions without any special claims. I would even say so, for the sake of dear peace!

Relationships, about me.

When I broke up with my husband, I couldn’t come to my senses for a long time.

I felt empty, even social networks were not filled with news that might interest me. To be honest, I was not interested in literally anything!

At some point, loneliness overwhelmed me to the size of a huge abyss. It took a couple of days, but I pulled myself together and persistently told myself, STOP!

I understand and appreciate that I am in my own home, there are snacks nearby that I like, I watch movies that I have long wanted to watch. It’s wonderful!

Relationships can often destroy our individuality, but their absence opens up a huge storehouse of opportunities.

Now you can finally meet your girlfriends, who will not have to sit quietly in the kitchen.

You may wonder, why quietly and in the kitchen? This is a classic manifestation of relationship humiliation: so as not to bother your other male half, who doesn’t like your girlfriends.

Relationships, you can’t live like this anymore!

I’ll hit you with a realization, if we are going to have a long-term relationship, we consciously decide to sacrifice ourselves.

Some to a greater extent, others to a lesser extent, but the fact remains that we endure this sacrifice.

One of my friends decided to start a serious relationship. But she was not at all young: she was already forty years old.

A successful and self-sufficient woman was ready to give up everything she had for the sake of one not very successful man.

Why such sacrifices? Sex, like emotions, can be found anywhere and at any time.

What is the recipe for happiness?

Social recommendations determine how to behave in literally all areas of life. If we blindly followed them, then we could forget about such a concept as happiness.

We are born different: some love men, others women, others love marriage, and others dream of traveling throughout their lives.

Pay attention to those who followed social norms, even if it meant sacrificing themselves. As it should be, they got married young, their wife gave birth to several children, and together they took out a bank loan.

Is this happiness?

You can only guess what it is like in real family life, but not everyone has this ideal family if you are guided by the norms accepted by society. Do you need such an innocent fake?

Real life is when you can answer the question of why you need absolutely all the components of a relationship.

If you dream of an ideal man and cannot answer why you need him, then you do not need him, I mean the ideal option.

The problem is a problem and you may not agree with me, but I advise you to think about this issue.

But know that only YOU can decide whether to give up yourself as a person or live your own life, not someone else’s!

There is a contradiction of thoughts or a love of horror.

The undeniable fact that people want to experience a tense, scary and disturbing experience has confused many, including me.

It is not necessary to go far, celebrating Halloween is also a small ritual or, more correctly, an event honoring horror.

The love of horror, how does it arise?

I will immediately ask a small question to lead you to the right thought solution note.

So, why do we watch movies about scary monsters, play games full of ghosts and zombies and read books depicting apocalyptic worlds?

Isn’t it all filled with our worst fears?

The answer is likely to be found in our evolutionary past, along with the reasons why we are afraid of the dark, snakes and spiders.

Human evolution is the reason for our love of et horror movies. We have only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.

This is because the fear of falling from heights is an instinct necessary for the survival of many species.

When we hear loud noises, we are likely to lower our heads and trigger a thought that will eventually be associated with our body’s “fight or flight” response.

Both of these patterns are innate and indicate potential danger.

Love of horror, heredity from ancient times.

If anything, we have only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. As we get older, we acquire new fears due to various associations.

This fear can be compared to what peacetime deminers experience after encountering explosive devices.

Even after returning from duty, such people will feel fear when they see a similar situation, because their body will trigger the “fight or flight” response – a state in which the body mobilizes to prevent threats.

The same thing happens in the animal world.

Participation in games that simulate dangerous situations helps young mammals, such as tiger cubs and wolf cubs, quickly regain stability of movement and emotional peace.

Is it any wonder that people act the same way?

With real horror, I will say, what about the men in our lives?

All men want only this?

I think it’s clear what! That’s how I was presented with the idea of ​​​​the main desire of men. But do we women know what men really want? Well, girlfriends, hold on, here’s what I think about it.

All men want, but this?

Often, women complain that men perceive them as templates and stereotypes. Meanwhile, women themselves are often mistaken about the opposite sex.

“They all need only one thing.”

According to the survey results, the biggest misconception among women is the statement that “they only need one thing.”

However, the modern rhythm of life now and then makes its own adjustments to everyday life, so the representatives of the stronger sex who are employed think first of all about how to get enough sleep.

Addition.

Today many heads of companies and firms often visit specialists, hoping to get rid of problems in the intimate sphere that have arisen as a result of overwork.

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”

An honorable second place among the main female misconceptions is occupied by the proverb that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” which many ladies take literally.

Wanting to win or keep a loved one, some women begin to cook several times a day, and meals replace all other contacts.

Of course, the ability to cook deliciously and the desire to please a loved one are undoubtedly positive qualities of every woman, but everything should be within reason.

You should not turn communication with your soulmate into a holiday of the stomach or a festival of gluttony. After all, this is not healthy.

“All men can be just a little more beautiful than a chimpanzee.”

What about the next misconception that “a man should be just a little more handsome than a chimpanzee”?

I would like to note that this is a double statement, because some ladies take it too literally, others, on the contrary, are looking for their “Apollo”. The truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle.

Along with appearance.

Kindness, wit, a sense of humor and the ability to provide for a family are valued in men. Ladies, this is prosaic, but it cannot be avoided.

In any case, an understanding and loving woman should know that men perceive their possible shortcomings just as painfully. If anything, it is much more difficult for them to change than we do.

“All men are lazy”

Moreover, one of the first points on the list of women’s misconceptions is the statement that automatically writes off the entire opposite sex as lazy.

Usually, when it comes to for household chores.

Even if you have “hit” a man who was not taught in childhood that his calling is not reading the latest news and watching sports games.

You can always.

The engage in the unobtrusive but effective re-education of your soulmate.

But there are cases when over the years a well-bred guy from his parents.

Yes, YOU, with your “care” turn into a sedentary individual. Who finds it difficult to get out of the embrace of the sofa or break away from the next stumbling block. This is a computer!

“Not all men notice betrayals”

So, can men be changed constantly and with impunity? We hasten to assure that not all representatives of the stronger sex are easy to deceive.

If a man could not (or cannot) reveal infidelity, then there may be two reasons for this. Either he really is a complete fool, or the woman is not interested in him.

The conclusion is clear, because he doesn’t care if she cheats or not.

“There are no real men”

And finally, the last misconception popular among girls.

“There are no real men these days.”

However, finding a soulmate or building a functional relationship with the opposite sex based on this statement is very problematic.

This begs the question.

Where have you met these real men? You’ve probably read about them in novels or seen them in movies.

There’s a romance there, which is greatly enhanced by the artist will be at the highest level of the art of fiction.

Most likely, in the past, men were practically no different from today.

It’s just that, especially women, tend to idealize something about which they have little information.

Our relationship with a loved one largely depends on how we perceive him as a person and what we think about the opposite sex in general.

Any alliance requires two-way work!

This is exactly what you should pay attention to, because thinking in stereotypes is of little importance today.

Good day!